Set me Free

There are plenty of times when I considered myself a prisoner of my own desire, engulfed by my own passion, and defeated by my own frailty. Countless of times I have longed to resist the smoldering fires of my emotions. I beg you….please set me free…

 

I am blinded by so many things, but the beating of my heart and the yearning of my soul is crystal clear. It is you that I long for. Although I tried so hard to turn away, I always end up losing, running to your ready arms.

I tried to fight back my feelings, but the more I hold it back, the more intense it becomes. The first time our eyes met I knew I was in trouble. The first time our lips locked in passionate kiss, I was in deep trouble. 

When our bodies and soul became one, I knew that there is no escaping you, for you alone fills up the emptiness of my soul. No matter how hard I try to run away, the path I take still leads me back to you.

I have wanted you to set me free. I have wanted to be on my own and enjoy life to the fullest. Then I realized , what is life without you in it?

Am I wrong to want you so bad? Is it a crime to love you so much? Then punish me. Crush me into your loving embrace. Lock me in a place where only the two of us can be in it and throw away the key. Make me your slave, to be beckoned with your every wish and desire.

Tell me you love me too! I can see it in your eyes that you want me, yet there is something that is holding you back and I understand you.

I am beaten and defeated, yet in the name of love I can endure anything. I have mixed emotions, feelings that I cannot comprehend. Ah Cupid, what have you done?

Though what we had is a one time thing, to me it meant so much more. I don’t care what they say, what I have for you is bleeding love. Deep, yearning and true. A love that does not respect any time, place or circumstance. Ours is a love that  encompasses time, defies all rules and transcends through eternity.

When will we consummate our love, our undying devotion for one another? When will I get out of this cage that I am in and be with you again? I am about to lose the essence of my sanity but what can I do? I cannot help myself….

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH that it burns, it hurts, and burns again. It is a love beyond reasoning. Now I know I am human, because I am in love with you. 

Set me free. Make me yours. Love me with the love that I yearn for. 

I will be waiting...now and forever. Remember, I will always love you.

BEYOND FORGETTING by Rolando Carbonel

For a moment I thought I could forget you.

For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart. I thought the past could no longer haunt me — nor hurt me. How wrong I was!

For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part of me as life itself. And you are part of that life. You are so much a part of me — of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth and my ambitions

– that in all my tasks I can’t help remembering you.  Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings? Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone.

I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song… And yet I remembered. For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you. The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune, because you and I have been one.

I have wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.

Can’t you understand? Can’t you divine the depth and the tenderness of my feelings towards you? Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference. But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart. How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone? But, perhaps, you didn’t understand…

Remember, I came because the gnawing loneliness is there and will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is heard, until the silence is understood… until you come to me again.

For you alone can blend the music and memory into one consuming Ecstasy, YOU ALONE…

When All Else Fails

When I was a child growing up my father once told me “Virginia, why won’t you just give it up? You won’t be able to set that fire with all that wet grass underneath!” and I replied “Dad I won’t stop until I get this done” I got it done, but it took me 6 hours to finally get it finished.

 

My life has always been about striving hard to finish everything I start. I cannot recall anything that I started that remained undone. By God’s grace, I am blessed with all the resources I need to finish all my plans and to achieve them no matter what.

Probably, this kind of attitude helped me get through law school, and a working student at that. However, I now know that I cannot rely upon my own strength alone. I needed God for guidance and determination to move on when things get rough.

My simple formula in life when it gets difficult, when all else fails: Pray. Trust God. Have Faith. It never fails….works all the time.

Life for me has been tough, but I am blessed to have a God larger than any of my concerns. Though it seems difficult at times, He gives me the necessary means to face problems, and a strong heart to conquer adversities.

When all else fails, turn to God. He is there for you 24/7.

GOD’S WILL

I have been praying for weeks about the best thing to do. Today I just made three of the most difficult decisions in my life.

First resign, then turn down an offer in another broadsheet and finally to take the bar exams.

I was thinking, am I going nuts? Is this an impulsive decision on my part? The funny thing is after I made these decisions I was way happier than I was the minute earlier!

I have no idea about where these decisions will lead me, but I feel great and victorious for some reason that I myself cannot comprehend! Some people told me “Are you kidding me? Why did you turn it down?” or “Many people are looking for jobs and you resign from yours?”

Then I went back to one biblical verse that has been lost in my own oblivion for some time:

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

As I was praying a few weeks back, I was asking God “What is your will for me? what do you want me to do? Show me.”

Then, things started happening which led me to come to this decision. In His own way, God was showing the path that I must take.

True, the future is uncertain but shall I doubt God’s will for me?

A few years back I was just newly promoted in a call center when the opportunity to work for a newspaper came knocking at my doorstep. That very same day I prayed for guidance. Then God told me to let go of my current job and work as a reporter in a newspaper. And I said, is this the right thing to do? I do not even know the places in Manila or anything about straight news writing. Should I? Then God told me I must. I resigned, and most of my colleagues are saying “Are you crazy???”. At that time it was a difficult decision to make, but I trusted God’s will for me.

Starting out in the newspaper industry was tough. I was literally lost and do not really know what to do. Through time I learned, and I adopted despite the great odds. Two months after I resigned from my former job, the account was closed. And I told myself; Thank God I left and obeyed!

Meanwhile back at my newspaper job, I started to learn new things. I was hungry for knowledge, and I learned a lot from my fellow reporters at the DOJ.

Two years after, God is asking me to drop what I have and concentrate on my review. After days of fasting and prayer, I asked again if this is the right thing to do. Without any doubt, my heart feels that I must obey and heed His word.

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (NIV) 

Then, after much prayer I sought the advice of those who are older and much wiser than I.

Proverbs 15:22

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (NIV) 

In an article, it was stated that in difficult decisions it’s wise to get spiritual and practical counsel from the godly leaders in our life.

A pastor, elder, parent, or simply a mature believer can often contribute important insight, answer questions, remove doubts and confirm inclinations. Make sure to choose individuals who will offer sound biblical advice and not just say what you want to hear.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV) 

YOUR WILL BE DONE FATHER. Though things are not clear, and sometimes they do not make sense at the moment, I choose to trust God and nothing more.

Lessons of Life

03.29.10

Twenty-seven long years of living life to the fullest makes me a better and stronger person, yet I also know that life has its unexpected twists and turns. Still, I welcome it with open and willing arms. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

In life, I have learned that if there is anything that I want to change, I want to give or I want to happen, it always starts with me. 

How can I give love if I do not have it? How would I effect change if I do not live by it as an example?

Many times in the past I had my heart broken, bore excruciating pain, lost loved ones, betrayed by friends and disappointed by people. But if there is one thing in my life I have learned is to realize that life does not stop to sympathize with my grief. Life has to go on. 

Life is what we make out of it. Sometimes it is like a roller coaster ride, filled with excitement, magic, and danger all at the same time. 

On other days, it can also be like a circus that is filled with many impossible things. The only common denominator is that the only constant thing is change. 

Our life shows us that we have choices to make, goals to meet and people to love. Oftentimes, our life’s success is not measured by how wealthy we have become or how we have reached the peak of our careers. 

It is measured by how happy we have become. It is all about living our life according to God’s will and grand design.

Life in general will teach us how to survive the toughest fights, love to the fullest and live well. As we tread along the path of our life, we will learn a lot of things along the way. But what sets us apart from everybody is else is positive attitude. We must see the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Forgive quickly for life is too short. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life, even its minutest details for we will never be in this moment again. 

Anger and hate blinds us to virtues. It erodes character even if hidden.

I’ve learned that no matter what, I am accountable for my actions. Nobody is to be blamed but me. Alibis, mere denials and excuses are the weakest forms of defenses.

Life is about taking risks, but it should be calculated ones. We should not be afraid to give, and try things in this lifetime. Yet, we have to make rational decisions since our acts affects people around us.

Best of all, time must be treasured for time lost can never be regained.

No one is in charge of my happiness. I’ve learned to make peace with my past so I won’t screw up the present. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Tough times never last, but tough people do.

But the best lesson life has given me so far is to keep my faith alive and trust in God’s providence, love and promises. By endurance and faith, I will conquer! Since I still have three-fourths of my life ahead of me, I sincerely believe that life is beautiful despite its drudgery.

RAIN

Droplets of rain keep tapping through the window pane. While I serve as a witness to the weather phenomenon we all know as storm (or typhoon), rain reminds me of lot of things in life.

Water. Blessing. Floods. Cold. Life. Tears.

I love the rain. During my younger days, I run and play in the rain living a carefree life. I laugh as if there’s no tomorrow. I splash the rainwaters with my feet with glee and happiness, as if I own the world.

As I grew older, I realized that too much rain can cause colds, floods in some parts of Manila and cause people to troop to the malls making it a very crowded haven for those seeking shelter….

Rain can both be a blessing, or a curse. Better yet, a blessing in disguise.

Rain gives life to fields rendered withered by drought, yet it can destroy crops when it rains too hard.

Rain, my solitude when life seems to drag me down. It keeps me still, it refreshes my thoughts and it reminds me of the word “relax”, “take it easy” and “rest”. Rain reminds me of God’s wonderful creation.

Rain also reminds me that what goes up must come down, and that life is a never-ending cycle.

Every drop of rain is a reminder that we, as God’s children are mere specks in this universe that He created. 

We would land where we are intended to land, and that is what we call our calling in life.

Like the rain, we could serve as a life-giving force to withered crops, dying plants or serve as refreshments for thirsty animals.

At times, we are filtered to become “drinkable”. Like the rain, we all go through “processes” to become valuable.

Rain-the most flexible of all God’s creation. It can go places, it can go mingle with almost anything, and best of all it gives life. That is the way I want to become, for my family and my loves ones. God bless the rain! My ever lasting solitude in loneliness….

Breaking Point

Everybody has a breaking point, elasticity limit, the straw that broke the camels back, the point of no return, and boiling point.

Nature dictates this. All of living and non-living things have their own breaking points. For example, no matter how strong a bamboo tree is against strong winds, it will break once it bends to far. A camel, which can carry loads of things on its back wil eventually give up due to exhaustion.

This is also true with human beings.

As I have always said, there are bridges that are beyond repair. Some people can only take so much in a lifetime.

When somebody warns you to lay off their back, leave them alone, or not to intervene in their affairs, take it as gospel. A person, who time and again tells you to stop pushing the buttons means serious business.

Sure, that person will let it pass for a while but not forever. Once that person has reached her breaking point, not even a word war can change her mind.

Whatever strategy you employ to gain back her affection, her trust and love, once that person reaches her limit and loses her patience all efforts will be in vain. Why? How could you revive something that is already dead?

So my friends, take care of your relationships…be wary of the words you speak. Never pretend because such facade will not last. Be true to the people around you because who knows. that person might save your life someday. That person might, in one way or the other might end up to be your life-long partner who would be with you all the days of your life.

You do not want a cold wife who would give you the silent treatment, right? Or a husband who seems to be the living dead. You will not want a friend treat you like you never existed, or parents who wil disown you.

So stop testing the waters. Silent waters run deep, so be careful. Once a person ceases to talk to you, or gives you short answers it usually means something is terribly wrong.

When a person drastically changes, it means you have wronged that person. Unless you are insensitive, then you won’t care, right?

Think carefully before he or she reaches her breaking point before its too late.

Mendicancy

MENDICANCY- the art of begging, taking advantage of one’s pitiful appearance to get something without working for it, pretending to be poverty stricken when they are really not, using rudeness as a tool to claim what they think is their privilege…

I did not look this up in the dictionary…this is my own version of what mendicancy is.

According to an online dictionary, mendicancy means the practice of begging, as for alms or the state or condition of being a beggar.

Just this morning I was angry…riding the bus on the way to work, there was this able bodied person insisting that I accept the piece of paper he was giving out to all the passengers. Already in the bad mood, I pretended that I did not see him.

Not liking my bitchy attitude, he kept on insisting. I had to glare at him so he can get my message of defiance.

After being rejected by the other passengers, he came back to me! He even got the nerve to touch me and still insisted that I buy his overly priced goods!!!

If I was not pregnant, I might have lost my cool and punched him in his face. But I have to teach my child some manners, even if he or she is still in my womb.(sigh!)

After alighting from the bus, another healthy (as in malaki ang katawan) person pestered me with getting me a taxi. I just brushed him off and went to get my own.

As I flagged down a taxi and got in, the jerk came running towards us asking the driver for some money! This time I really lost my cool!

“Ang kapal din naman nang mukha mo ano? Bakit ikaw ba tumawag sa taxing ito? Mahiya ka naman ang laki nang katawan mo hihingi hingi ka lang! Letse!”

Sorry anak, war freak mood talaga nanay mo today…

The point is, why do these people take advantage of virtues such as pity, sympathy, poverty just to get what they want without working for it?

They appeal to our “guilt” because they are poor. They think it is our obligation to give because we have more.

TRUE. We should give to people who needs it, but not to assholes who can still work!!!

I believe in giving to those who are really needy, like the handicapped, to the old and sick, victims of abuse, and children who cannot fend for themselves.

Not to middle-aged men who are stronger than me.

Not to hypocrites who hide behind religion and board buses, preach the word of God then shamelessly ask for donation.

Not to supposedly “out-of-school” youth who board buses and try to defraud you into buying their goods three times as expensive if you buy them in regular stores.

THIS IS REALLY DISTASTEFUL DECEPTION.

I mean, I am six months pregnant yet I work…how come they could not do the same???

These people are not poor, they are lazy. And for that, they do not deserve an ounce of my sympathy.

I have honestly worked for my keep since I was seventeen, and damn I am not gonna let these people take advantage of me.

It’s simple, really. If you want to live, work. If you don’t work, then you don’t eat.

Each and everyone of us has a choice.

If some of us choose mendicancy as a way of life, that is their choice. But they cannot expect us to give because they think it’s their freakin right. We work for ours, they should earn theirs by working.

Coping with frustrations…

IF there is one thing in life that I have learned, is that you would never get everything that you want.

People will disappoint you, turn their backs on you and not deliver their promises made to you.

A thousand and one times I have felt betrayed, stepped on, double-crossed. However, I have never allowed such feelings overwhelm me.

My rebellious side would always scream out, fight back and put people in their rightful place. But through the years I have mellowed, softened, and become more restrained.

It’s not about me anymore. I have a family to prioritize right now.

I live with the comfort that there is someone who would never leave me whenever I face life’s challenges.

GOD.

He has been with me all the days of life, and He will be with me in my remaining days as well.

Though others turn their backs on me, He will not.

That is why I will not let little things put me down, instead I will use it as stepping stones.

A letter to my unborn child

Dear Baby,

As you grow inside me my excitement exalts. Each day that passes is a bliss for the two of us. For the first time in my life, I do not need to feel that I am alone because at last you are with me.

I have nothing much to offer you. We do not belong to a very rich clan who owns very large tracts of land and runs multi-million peso worth of businesses.

All I can give you are these: my heart, my body, and my entire life.

As long as God breathes life into me, I will be there to love and protect you no matter what. Though I am yet to see you, I already love you. In fact, I have loved you long before I met your father.

I will provide you your needs. You will be my inspiration to become a better person. I am inspired to work harder because of you. If ever I will take the bar exams again, I know it will not be a burden because I am not only taking it for my own glory but because I want you to be proud of me someday if ever I will make it.

My baby, God has been very good to us. Before you were conceived he made sure that I was a “complete person” capable of providing you with the love and care you deserve. He provided us with the things we will need as we surf along the waves of life.

Your daddy is very excited to see you. He is always away hoping that his sacrifice will give us both a better future. That is why I love him very much, and I know he is not only a good husband but he will be a good father to you as well…

I will impart to you education and discipline because life is not that easy my dear child. In due time, I will teach you how to be strong to face life in general. I will give you what you will need to shield you from the “cruelties” of life.

I know that in due time you will have your own battles to fight. But I will always be there to support you no matter what. This I promise you…

Most of all my dear baby, we will both worship God and honor Him with the may blessings He has bestowed upon us. Though hard times will come from time to time, we will not feel defeated because He will always be our GOD.

I will see you in the next five months…I love you very much….

Loving you always,

Mama Virginia

ISTORYA NG PUTA…

(I don’t know who wrote this but… ang galing at tumatalab talaga…!!!)

Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko puta daw ako. Nagpapagamit,
binabayaran. Sabi nila ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Ang bango-bango ko daw, sariwa at makinis. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.

Halika at makinig ka muna sa kwento ko.

Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin, nagkagusto, naakit. Sikat ka sa lahat, virgin eh! Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Masakit alalahanin, iniisip ko na lang na kase di sila taga rito, siguro talagang ganoon. Tatlong malilibog na foreigners ang namyesta sa katawan ko, na-rape daw ako?

Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko makakalimutan. Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Tinulungan nya kasi akong makalimutan yung mga sadistang Hapon at Kastilaloy. Kase, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. Ibang klase siya mag-sorry, lalo pa at kinupkop niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko. Parating ang dami naming regalo - may chocolates, yosi, at ano ka… may datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya, alam kong ginagamit nya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-Ingles, di lang magsulat ha! Magbasa pa! 

Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. ‘Yun nga lang, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na sosyal
kami. Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na kaligayahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay.

P*** ng I**! Sa dami ng lason na sinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga tanga ko. Patalsikin ko na daw. Sa tulong ng mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang animal pero ang hirap magsimula.

Masyado na kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay na naranasan namin sa kanya. Lubog na lubog pa kami sa utang, kulang ata pati kaluluwa namin para ibayad sa mga inutang namin.

Sinikap naming lahat maging maganda ang buhay namin. Ayun, mga nasa
Japan, Hong Kong, Saudi ang mga anak ko. Yung iba nag-US, Europe. Yung iba ayaw umalis sa akin. Halos lahat, wala naman silbi, masaya daw sa piling ko, maski amoy usok ako.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko na nagsisikap na tulungan ang kalagayan namin, siya din ang dami ng mga anak ko na namamantala sa kabuhayan at kayaman na itinatabi ko para sa punyetang kinabukasan naming lahat. Dumating ang panahon na di na kami halos makaahon sa hirap ng buhay. Napakahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap. Ang di ko inaakala ay mismong mga anak ko, ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Napakasakit tanggapin na malinlang. Akala ko ay makakakita ako ng magiging kasama sa buhay sa mga ahas na ipinakilala ng mga anak ko. Hindi pala. Ang tanga ko talaga. Binugaw ako ng sarili kong mga anak kapalit ng kwarta at pansamantalang ginhawa na nais nilang matamasa.

Wala na akong nagawa dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga anak. Wala akong ibang yaman kundi ganda ko. Pinagamit ko na lang ng pinagamit ang sarili ko, basta maginhawa lang ang mga anak ko.

Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapitbahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naaawa. Puta na kase ang isang magandang tulad ko.

Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa ng palaki. Kulang na kulang. Paano na lang ang mga anak ko naiwan sa aking punyetang puder? Baka di na ako balikan o bisitahin ng mga nag-abroad kong mga anak. Hindi na importante kung laspagi n man ang ganda ko, madama ko lang ang pagmamahal ng mga anak ko. Malaman nila na gagawin ko ang lahat para sa kanila.

Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko maganda pa rin ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko, namamayagpag kahit saan sila pumunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawin. Tama man o mali. Proud ako sa kanila. Kaso sila, kabaligtaran ang nararamdaman para sa akin.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko, iilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May
malasakit man, nahihilaw. Ni di nga ako kinikilalang ina. Halos lahat sila galit sa isa’t isa. Walang gusto magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Ang dami ko ng pasakit na tiniis pero walang sasakit pa nung sarili kong mga anak ang nagbugaw sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masyado silang nasanay sa sarap ng buhay. Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala ang sarili ko.

Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Ilang buwan pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang usap usapan na ang susunod na pagbubugaw ng ilan sa mga anak ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin, ipaglaban naman nila ako. Gusto kong isigaw: “INA NINYO AKO! MAHALIN NYO NAMAN AKO!”

Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako.

Ay sorry, di ko pala nasabi….

PILIPINAS nga pala pangalan ko!

Day-Off

Decided to write this piece of crap, violating my self-imposed day-off and wasting my time in front of this stupid computer. But I couldn't help it, I really love writing especially when random thoughts pour into my mind.

Today passed with me bringing Cindy to her pedia for her Prevenar booster shot. Just went home after that, plugged in my magic sing and tried to annoy my neighbors with my golden voice (ehem). Ate my dinner, brought Cindy outside with her ninang Ana and had a little chat. A serious chat since I look at her like my eldest sister while I am here in God-forsaken Primarosa.

Now I just decided to write something about day-offs. When was the last time I had one?

Sure, when I was still working the normal day-off would be Saturdays and Sundays except when I worked in the call center as a web content writer and had to take Wednesday off. But I am talking about day-off from life.

I am not talking about life after death either. I'm talking about taking a break from life's pressures. Sure, I go to starbucks, bring my laptop, surf the net and order my favorite concoction: tall caramel macchiatto. I chat with friends and gossip all day long. When I am bored I grab a copy of the latest novel at National Bookstore and try to idle the time away. But this is not the type of day-off I was talking about.

People around me would tell me that problems add spice to life. But too much spice can be deadly. My life never became the same again after I turned 20. It went from worst, to better then to worst again. Problems keep pouring in and out of my life non-stop. Those who are older than me would say that as long as I am living problems would always be there.

But does it have to be that way?

Problems become problems only if you treat it like one. True, but not quite. There are things in this life that you simply cannot ignore. You cannot ignore family ties. Without them you are nothing, and as the saying goes blood is thicker than water. However, blood ties should never be an excuse to do something wrong and drag your family into it. NO! NO! NO! and a BIG NO!

Now that I have grown up and have a family of my own, I have realized so many things in my life. Family comes first. That is a fact...but only if they are being reasonable. So for now, I am stepping back from my family and that of my husband's family problems. I cannot be the defender of the universe for crying out loud!

Day-off? Sounds good. Now I am trying to have interest in the things that I have neglected when I got married. I am into writing again, ballroom dancing and kickboxing! Of course, I am also renovating my house (only minor ones)

Day-off? Sounds great. But knowing my restless soul and my flighty spirit, how could I take a break? If only I could do everything at once I would. Pero nakakapagod din pala. At some point in our life, we would feel a burn-out. So, I am taking a break. I think I deserve that and people around me should cut me some slack and get off my back.

Used Car Selling Safety Tips in These Deadly and Uncertain Times

(reposted from Armand dean Nocum, FB page)

 

by Armand Dean Nocum on Wednesday, January 19, 2011 at 10:13am

 

                Journalists, like priests, take something like a vow of poverty. There is no money in journalism so journalists must be ready to live on idealism at the expense of personal and family comfort. Journalists cannot have fame and fortune; that is a fact.

                Journalists who go into business like me are the rare exception. We are among the few who get our cake and eat it too. I can only thank my brother Joey Nocum, owner of the Zamboanga City Used Card Display Center, for introducing me and my wife into the used car business early in my career as a poor and struggling investigative reporter of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

                We started supplying Joey with used cars from Manila and we are happy to say as that as the pioneer used car dealers in Zamboanga, we helped switch the driving pattern of people there from using motorcycles and owner-type-jeeps into cheap start-up cars like the old 2000 model Kia Pride and 1980s box-type Mitsubishi Lancers. We were lucky to introduce these cheap cars there just when everybody was disposing them at bargain prices in Manila around 1998.

                We were hardly able to meet numerous orders then and you could say we are still being blamed for clogging traffic in that old Spanish town – what with its roads originally designed for horse-drawn kalesa – by convincing people to shift from dirt bikes, the popular mode of transport then, into cheap cars.

                Business was so good that eventually many other used car outlets sprouted years later. Fortunately we have by then shifted to Manila and set up an outlet among other used car dealers at the Mega-Expo Used Car Display Center along EDSA. Lately, we have shifted operation to Quezon City.

                Thus, the used car business is not just a business for us but a passion we are grateful to. That is why it pains us to see the industry getting hit by killers and carjackers as shown by the killings of fellow used car dealers Emerson Lozano, his driver; and the young Venson Evangelista. We used to deal cars with Venson's dad Boy.

                If experienced and seasoned car dealers like them get victimized, we dread to think about the vulnerability of car owners who simply want to sell their cars. Ms Monica Atienza, her 60-year-old relative, and her six-and seven-year-old children are so lucky to have been left alive by robbers who took their car during a test drive in Bulacan during the week Lozano and Evangelista were killed.

                 In the order to help people sell their cars in a safe manner and to help save the used car industry, I have listed a few tips which I hope will be useful to those selling cars:

1.       When contacted by buyers by phone or through the internet, always make the effort to get their address or their telephone numbers which you can call back and verify to see whether they are who they claim they are. Checking their names on Facebook or other social sites would be helpful.

2.       When meeting them at your house, always get some people to witness the meeting. Although having their faces captured on a CCT camera is ideal – if you have one – getting someone to photograph them secretly during the meeting would be no harm (It is your house anyway). Well, doing so would make you look paranoid but it is better to be paranoid than dead. While they are inspecting the car, you can take pictures of them doing so by explaining that you are just taking picture of a car you hate to miss soon.

3.       When they insist on doing a test drive, insist that they leave government identification cards like license, SSS, PhilHealth, gun license and other cards which cannot be faked. If they come by car, insist they leave it behind and check if it is really registered under their name and not a stolen one. If they come by two, ask one of them stay in your place.

4.       The test drive should be done only be within your subdivision or places you are familiar with. These must be places where people abound. Watch out if there are vehicles following you. Always do the test drive at daytime. Meeting them at night or outside your home is out of the question except if you are acquainted with them.

5.       If you really must meet them outside of your house, do so in a place you know have CCTC cameras and have a companion in a back-up car take their pictures. Always bring a back-up car to tag you along and make them aware you are bringing one. Again, this is a paranoid act, but better paranoid than sorry.

6.       Lastly, in these dangerous times and if you have a choice, sell your cars to friends and acquaintances and not to total strangers to lessen the exposure and risk. We always tell clients that in the used car business, it is the trust that matters more than the cars.

There, I hope these few tips will be of help to you and if you have some tips of your own, feel free to send them to me at my emails armanddean@deanandkingspr.com or zamboyo66@yahoo.com.

But should you have additional questions, please contact my wife Ann at 09175208013 or 3522313 and 5718997 because she is a better used car expert than me.

        Feel free to pass these tips to friends and have a safe car selling.