ASD: A congenital heart condition that creeps later in life

Yes, I have a congenital heart disease called ASD (Atrial Septal Defect). It literally means that I have a hole in my heart.

When the doctor first told me about the bad news, I was really shocked! I mean, how was I able to live for 28 years with this condition and endure so many tragedies in my life? So when I got released from the hospital I researched about it and found out that most symptoms will not show until you reach the age of 30.

As my friend from EPH will say, "To have lived for 28 years with a hole in your heart means that God has special plans for you".

I live with the comfort that things happen for a reason. Recently I have been pondering about God's plan in my life. In my moments of despair I ask Him, "Lord favorite mo ba ako?"

I have been through a lot of difficulties and challenges. I lived through one operation already, and survived the ordeal of seeing my baby girl fight for her life. I have seen my life taken from me, my dreams crumbling away from me and my sanity bordering the line of oblivion. This is by far the worst. And I am only 28 years old.

Having ASD is like a death sentence. You cannot walk for long without stopping and catching your breath. You can no longer dance the night away, enjoy your favorite sports and even play with your little girl. That is how bad it is.

Yesterday my friend accompanied me to the Philippine Heart  Center to seek a second opinion. They basically told me the same thing. In the field of cardiology mine is still considered a minor operation. However if left uncorrected it will leave other complications later like a pulmonary hypertension and worst, a stroke.

I cried after hearing the possibility of having to undergo an open heart surgery. But if that is what it will take for me to live, then so be it. Money can be replaced but my life if not taken cared of will be lost forever. I am just praying that I will overcome this again.

It's funny how God operates sometimes. Now I understand why some of the things that I have been praying for in my life cannot happen yet. Now I realized why I am being constantly tested. To face big and great battles.

Now I offer this prayer:

"Lord, I come to you with my life wide open, asking for your divine help and healing. I know that there are times in my life that I have failed you but I know that I am still loved by You. I choose to trust you Father and know that through my life people will see that You have the power over sickness and disease. Thank you Father for everything in my life, and through your grace I know that I am saved. I pray all of these things through your Son Jesus Christ, Amen.."



Psalm 103:3-4

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

Jeremiah 30:17

"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the LORD.


Please pray for me my friends. I know that with God's healing and protection, nothing can be against us.

Happy 2nd Birthday Cindy Elaine!

We had fun celebrating my daughter's birthday at La Vista Resort, Pansol, Laguna last June 1, 2011 with friends from way before and those that have been part of my life only recently. It may seem odd that I am supposed to celebrate my daughter's birthday with kids her age right? Well, custom dictates such but I do not see it that way.

I celebrated her birthday with my friends since they have become important part of our lives. I know, and it has been tested through time and again that these are the types of friends who will never fail me. Although it is my daughter's birthday, we have come together to celebrate her life and friendship all at the same day. I know that these are the people that genuinely care for us.

Harsh as the truth may be, why would I spend thousands for food and feed people who stab me behind my back, or do not care for me and my daughter at all? What is the point of inviting the people from my neighborhood when they look at me with judgmental eyes? Why spend much for catering and entertainment with the people who attend your parties just because they happen to be your neighbors? Why provide a venue for neighbors to come together and enjoy an afternoon filled with rumor-mongering? Well most people think that it’s automatic.

I invite people that count, and people that I can trust. In my family, we do not attend parties just because we were invited. We do not waste our time. Why mingle with people that we are not comfortable with? So that you can boast later on that you had a grand party for your child? I call that stupid extravagance.

I keep things simple and straightforward. I will do what I feel is right, and the decision to do an out of town celebration for my daughter's birthday was a brave one. I did not conform to the usual norms. Guess what? It’s great to be with people who loves you, appreciates you and respects you for a change.

Even for a day I felt that there were no prying eyes around, and no wagging tongues that talk behind my back. It was a fun day, with lots of good food, videoke, swimming and good laughs. Thank you my friends Chin, Bob, Oman, Ryan, Judy and Robert. When I literally had nothing at one point of my life, you guys came to my rescue but just in different ways and different times. You guys know the real me, the feelings that I have and the hardships that I've been through. Love you guys!

To Ninang Kris, thank you for the gifts and for never forgetting Cindy on her day. To the tropang tigasin Phen, Traez and Daddy Jun I know that you guys are always with me in heart and in spirit.

To my family who has been with me through hell and back, thank you guys for loving me and Cindy. I know that with you I am never judged, but loved. Mom, Dad and Sha and Sean, thanks much.

Sa nag sponsor nang cake na ito (you know who you are but journalism ethics dictates that I keep my sources confidential, hehehe!) THANK YOU from me and Cindy.

To Chin and BOb, thank you sa gifts, foods and for helping me out with the venue. It was a refreshing experience....

TO Ryan, Judy and Robert, I know that even through your hectic schedules you still gave us your time. Salamat guys for the gifts and the good laughs!